信任？

“你可要记得，人唯有狠，才能存活！即使对方是你的朋友！”

这是某个人曾对我说过的话。

起初的我，还真不相信朋友之间可存有“背叛”，一直不肯相信那人的话。

直到某个朋友对我的背叛......

自此，我再也不相信所谓的“友谊”。

只有我认为够格的人，才能成为所谓的“朋友”。

然而，我依旧对他们有所保留......

如今，结识了几个朋友。

开始发现，我似乎又忘了那人对我说过的话。

开始走向“相信友谊”之道......

要是哪天他们背叛了我，我是否自找的呢？

要是他们是对我真心的，那我是不是太过防备了呢？

我心里真的不知如何抉择......

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朋友之间真的有所谓的信任吗？

我总是觉得被人利用似的......

我怎么啦？

Presentation 周开始了。
我这学期的第一个 presentation 是 International Marketing。
因为觉得好多东西讲，所以写好了稿子，试着背。
结果一紧张起来，就把原本该背出来的字和 points 统统给忘了。
我真的很伤心，回到宿舍哭了一场。

第二个则是Customer Relationship Management。
因为第一个 presentation 的关系，我不敢在背稿，只能像以往一样，记住该讲的 points。
却没想到，points 倒是记住了，但因为紧张而英语变得更差，让 tutor 狠狠地批评。
我当时真的很不高兴。
不是因为tutor 的评语，而是我英语一向虽不怎么好，但是也不至于差到那么多。
至少早前的 presentation 的英语，每个 tutor 都是听得明白。

真是的！
我这学期的 presentation 到底是怎么啦？
下星期就要到第三的 presentation 了。
真不知道该怎么办才好啊！

为民主哀悼！

5月5日的这一天，
马来西亚人民见证了史上“最干净”的选举......

全国上下、资格选民，
为了孩子们的未来，以及国家的发展，
纷纷提早到各自选区投下手中神圣的一票......

直到傍晚5时正，
全国各选区正式停止投选活动......

计票开始......

意料中，
选民票一面倒向人民钟意的党派......

计票继续中......

意料中，
一面倒的党派，
这时开始来个“大庆典”......

“5/5 马来西亚地球日”

“5/5 马来西亚魔术节”

就这样，
这两大“庆典”，
让一面倒的他们反败为胜......

直到凌晨，
结束了史上时间最长的计票活动......

总结一切，
“民主之墓”......

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看到现今的选举，

只有一个词，

“悲哀！”

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人民一直应该预防的“鬼”，

竟不是会走动、有心跳的“鬼”，

而是，

从天而降，

坐着德士；

只在两大“节日”中出现的，

一箱一箱的“鬼”......

妈妈，您要健健康康。

今早一打开facebook, 发现妹妹的最新状况写着：
“妈妈，你一定要健健康康。”

我着急了，急忙sms问妹妹。

妹妹回短讯写着：
“妈妈吃了榴莲，今早昏昏沉沉，看了医生，医生说须到医院做心脏检查。”

我急哭了。

妈妈健康一向就不好。
阅到医生说要做心脏检查，我害怕了。
害怕妈妈的身体真的出状况。

等待妹妹的新消息时，我想了许多。
我哭着、哭着。
自己的呼吸又再急促。
全身又要开始麻痹。
不知是好。
心里只能恳求老天帮忙。

妈妈的身体报告有了着落。
妈妈没事。
我心中大石总算可放下。
虽然想回家，但不敢回家，担心妈妈会担心我。

妈妈，我好想在您身旁，照顾您。
妈妈，您要好好照顾您身体，您要健健康康噢。。。

A Dance

26 August 2012

Dance is the activity for the day.

It became the release of stress before final exam.

Lecturer is Ms Kim Chow.

A person who is MC of the wedding or dinner night.

How pretty she is, althought she already not young.

She taught PSY's horse dance, classic dance and more.

And our project was became choreographer.

"GEE" sang by SNSD, became our choice.

First time dance this kind of dance, a feminine dance. Quite uncomfortable for me.

It's hard to learn for me. Because before I only make BOY'S dance.

Looked at the video and found that I really not suitable to this kind dance.

Next time I wouldn't try it again.

***DANCE is hidden LANGUAGE of the SOUL***

Different Moods in New Semester

New semester started.
New friends new starter.
All in new.

But my mood for this semester mixed.
In low and high spirits.
Assignments and tests, let me feel the stress.
Group members, some good and some headache.

I almost want to give up when I met some problem in assignment group.
But, when I think back, it not worth to me if I give up.

Because it is short semester, everything is rush off time.
I need to manage my study and assignment time.
So that wouldn't be fail in final exam again.

God, please bless me.
I don't want fall down again and again.
My heart can't accept the failure already.

*** YURI, BE CALM! DON'T STRESS! BELIEVE THAT U CAN DO IT! ***

Finally...

Exam result released.
I closed my eye, thought and said to myself.
If the result is bad, what should I do?
I thought, and thought the question again and again.
While waited for the page loaded.

I thought a lot and my answer in my heart gave.
If the result is bad, then I quit my studies.
That's is my answer followed my heart.

I opened my eye and saw the result.
I only saw the grades roughly.
And I passed all the subjects.
I so excited and can't wait to told my daddy and mummy.

Daddy asked me to look clearly and carefully again.
I obeyed.
And looked again the result.
STATUS: CANDIDATE TO CONTINUE.
Surely.
I passed all.
I really excited this time.
NOW, I noticed.
PAID HARD WILL HAVE A GREAT FEEDBACK.
I appreciated and will study harder next time to improve my result.
A stone in my heart finally can put down already.
Oops, not put down, is THROW AWAY!!!

***YURI, finally U CAN DO IT***

Result Will Released SOON!!!

2 more days to go.
Exam result will be released.
I really lose my direction once I heard the new.
What result I will get?
I can't see my future already.
I need someone to be my audience and also adviser.
So that I can get some advice from him/her.
This time really will affect my future.
Hopely, I can pass the exam as well.
If not, I gonna fall to the hell AGAIN!!!
BAD or GOOD???
God, please bless me,ok???
Tolong!!! tolong!!!

Why I'm so stupid?

Today had a Economics exam paper.

A paper that I had been prepare above 3 days, and today I re-memorised it again because scare of can't answer the paper.

When I did the revision with graphs of fiscal policies and monetary policies, I tried to remind myself don't mix them up. However, this happened during the exam. The question asked for graph for fiscal policies, I drew the graph for monetary policies. How stupid I am!!!

Besides this, I also think too much for the question of graph of a firm in competitive industry in short run. The 1st answer I gave already correct, but I erased it just because of this question would not be easy as well. In fact, the question is really easy. How stupid I am AGAIN!!!

Not only for this, I also give up the question that may lead to me 20marks, and chose the question I thought I can answer it well but in fact not. Now the marks for that question may only lead me less than 10. How stupid I am AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!

In the conclusion, what can I do now is try hard to improve my Business Accounting 2 paper as higher marks as I can to balance the CGPA in 2.0, so that I would not be terminated!

God, please bless me on the BA 2 paper!!!

雨过天晴了吗？

乌云朵朵来，

大风阵阵吹，

雷公声声响，

电母道道闪。

滴答滴答地，

雨水从天降，

宛如天怜心，

为某人而泣。

吾望窗外也，

回首昔日情，

吾知吾之心，

早已心灰也。

吾因之受教，

催己莫留心，

如今已成功，

不再软之心。

如今再相见，

犹如陌生人，

只有打招呼，

莫有说笑也。

雨停晴朗天，

吾醒泪已流，

莫再盼之情，

情愿只身也。

Time for fight! figHT!! FIGHT!!!

Yuri, you CAN do it!

It's the time...
The time for prepare final examination!

I want fight for it!
To remain my status,
NOT, is to IMPROVE my current status in final examination's result.

I want fight for it!
To prove that I not WEAK.

I want fight for it!
To prove that I not me, but is whole NEW me!

WHAT I want now, is to
FIGHT!
FIGHT!!
FIGHT!!!
FIGHT FOR EXAM!!!!!

逃避

我又哭了...
因为某些事，我哭了...

我解不开它，
于是我逃避...

虽知逃避是解决不了问题，
但我依然选择了它...

我自问，
为何人类不像蜗牛、乌龟，
有事即把头缩进壳里去，不理会这世界？

朋友送来了一些话，
更让我痛心，
但却奈何不了...

口头上说关心，
但实际行动呢？
我不敢相信，也不想确认...

这些天，
我想了许多...
不管结果如何，
我欣然接受...
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一个人躲进被里哭，

有谁可了解那份痛？

因为某件事，

我弄亏了自己，

也认清了某些事...

仅有能依靠的朋友，

能借出他们的肩膀，

让你尽情的哭泣...

My Choice...

  The final exam's result released. I thought I can pass all the subjects especially the subject I repeated.
  Yes, I passed. I passed the subject I repeated with a quite good grade. But when I look for other subjects, I never, never, thought, I failed the subject that I very confident when sat for the paper. One thing I more careless, that my status is TERMINATED.
  My heart suddenly like a glass fall down from the high - broken.
  I don't know what should I took for the next step. All because I thought I can say HELLO to semester 3.

  GIVE UP or APPEAL AGAINST THE TERMINATION?

  Give up, that mean I wasted half year for study and I felt unfair for myself.

  Appeal against the termination, that mean I need to waste money for continue study and I felt unfair for my parent.

 Haiz... it really hard to make a decision...

Goodbye to Semester 2, Hello to Semester 3!!!

9 May 2012
I finished my last paper for final examination semester 2.
I free, free from stress, free from study...
But only for two weeks >3<

However,
I happy,
Because
I want to say,
GOODBYE to my miserable semester 2!!!
And say HELLO to my whole new semester...semester 3 ^^

Hope that this new semester I won't cry again and be more stronger to face all the problems. ^^

Study Week ~ Prepare for Final Exam Semester 2

23 - 29 April 2012

One week "Study Week" Started.
All degree students started prepare their final exam.
And same to me. I also not exempted for this situation.

My midnight oil actually start burned before the study week.

Notes! notes! notes!
My table already full with notes!
>.<

During the midnight,
I still can see many houses still switch on the light.
And my housemates also same.
We seem like fight for how long we can study.

During study especially on midnight,
My stomach seem like to "play" with me. (hungry...>.<)
Haiz... have to find something to eat, so that I can continue my study.

My supper: hot Milo drink and Jacob's Weetmeal
but not enough for my dear hungry stomach!

Although midnight n now is raining,
But the temperature still high in Kampar. (hot, hot, hot >.<)
I can't focused on my studies.

Now I need to pray for God.

"Please let me have a cool environment for study."
"Please let me pass the final examination."

More important...
 "Please don't let my stomach HUNGRY AGAIN!"

Just Wanna Tell A Story

今天skip了两堂课，提早回宿舍去补充睡眠。

Haiz, 饿了整天的肚子，是时候为它进一进补了!

午餐时间到...

Yo! 我煮了豆签。

这豆签还是外面吃不到的。

我自创的意大利面酱豆签。

还不错吃一下!

新创意大利面酱豆签

吃完了主餐，再来点dessert吧!

登登登登! 

好吃的爱玉冰来也!

买回来的爱玉冰

吃饱后，当然是睡觉也!

（不变肥猪是假!）@.X

谢谢你们的忽视。。。

至当我透明的人，

  谢谢你们对我的忽视。虽然你们做得不是很明显，然而我可以感受得到。你们常把我当成透明人，不以为我不晓得。我是知道的。
 
  当然我不会让你们知道我现在在想些什么。然而，我总有一天一定会让你们知道我的决心。

  再次跟你们道谢一次，你们让我明白到人真的不可以貌取人，更不能以性格取友情。你们真的无法在我友谊榜上立足。

Am I Happy? part 2

"Yuri, finally I see your smile again!"
"Agree, long time didn't see you can laugh like this crazy."

When I heard from them about my happiness are back, I really happy.
This because I really free from my burden and the "power of duck"(stress)
But actually am I really happy already?

Although I free, yes I free...

But my heart still told me once I still in this group, I never happy as well as usual, this because of my responsibility to this group.

Although they didn't put me in blacklist, but I hope they can.

At least, I can free from anything about this group like my friend.

Yes, I not need to do the stuff, but when I see my members do, I also want to do.

I really don't how to release all of this things.

I really tired, every night I have to burn the midnight oil for all the night.

And then sick!!!

I really want to out from this group, please help me, my dear GOD!!!

I want to be happy again and again!!!

Am I Happy?

~S.M.I.L.E~
A simple word and simple action for everyone. It easy to do but not for me for now.
Everyday I smile, in front of my friends and my family, seem like nothing happened, but really, I wanna to get off this SMILE mask from my face.

I hate it although sometimes it really works. But am I really happy about it?
It made me tired and suffered but nobody concern about it.
This few days, the real SMILE seems like lost from my world.
I only can cry and cry, then have a "fake" smile in front of my friends just don't want everybody know about it.

I really tired. but there are not a word "give up" in my dictionary. I wanna continue it but my body can't make it. That day, I faint, but only my closely friends know about it. I don't want let them saw that stupid poses and worry about me but can't, they really saw it with their eyes. And I think they already scared by me.

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Dear friends,
  Sorry to say that, I make you all scare and worry about me, but I promise that there wouldn't have a next time, okay?
  Thank you.

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Dear SMILE,
  Can you with me, with a real one, not the "fake" one? I want to be a happy person, but not the person who only know faint and then cry, besides cry,only cry.
  Can you with me, for all the times? So that the stress can't make my breathe sucks.
  This only my wish to you. Please let me continue my life with a happy mood.
  Thank you.

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The Beginnig Of Spring · 立春

5th February, the spring days begin. 

Boiled a egg just for make it stand.

Look at the egg, and think...

Y THE EGG CAN STAND???